The Rune Dad

Othila ᛟ: the rune of family and inheritance. Depending on your family circumstance, this either invokes warm fuzzies or arctic chill. For now, let’s focus on what home meant in ancient times. This was your village, the hearth, your ancestors, traditions, land/cattle inheritance, titles, and celebrations. The vikings travelled extensively over land and sea with an air of discovery. After all, they are the first known Europeans to have discovered the Americas, hundreds of years before Columbus. Home was what you longed to come back to after many months away. It’s where you belong.

We, Americans, are nearly obsessed with finding our ancestry. Companies have sprung up to track our family trees, and others to trace our DNA. Whether our families willingly came, were forced through slavery, or are indigenous to this land, we have deep desires to confirm, uphold and discover our origins. You may even discover, like mine, a family member thought lost through adoption. She is my family’s greatest blessing and the missing piece to a board game we never knew was incomplete. The game is wildly better now.

Think of the qualities and natural talents you can give thanks for (creativity, speech, analytics, drive, or peace).

On my walk today, I made it a point to pass by important places in my family’s past. I walked by the house that my great-grandfather had adorned with his wood carvings in the early 1920s. I walked through the shopping center where my grandfather had his office and the same center where my father is a trusted advisor on design and engineering. From them, I inherited patience, devotion, kindness, problem solving, language and music. These men were and are equally talented and world-class in their domains, yet each never realized how valuable and brilliant they are. I inherited that, too. It’s one of the hardest things to release, so I can allow myself to truly shine. Think about the qualities that you have that you need to shake off. What are you doing to break it? Forgive your ancestors and politely decline that tainted gift. Give thanks for all the others.

My children are fortunate that their mother is an immigrant with millennia of ancestral history, lore and rich language. As Americans, in my opinion, they hit the genealogy jackpot. And as such, we made it a point to take our children to live in her home country for the past 3 years to truly understand their mother’s roots. They inherited a culture, a way of thinking, a way of speaking, and a sense of firm belonging.

In addition to the traditional thinking of inheritance, my wife’s culture has a tradition of passing an individual’s family rank to a loved one upon their death. My wife was so close and so similar to her grandmother, that upon her grandmother’s death, she chose my wife to inherit her place in the family. When large family decisions must be made impacting multiple generations or disputes, my wife must now act as her replacement (the oldest of 6 siblings) and give guidance. What role have you knowingly or unknowingly inherited in your family? Is it a role you want? Are you the designated caretaker, historian, treasurer, spokesperson, event planner, etc.?

Maybe you’re the black sheep. You have nothing in common, struggle to fit in, and feel outcasted. Even you have your role. Black sheep are often the trailblazers who break up the toxic behaviors that have passed from the ancestors. They encourage their families through their actions to take a second look at themselves and challenge them to love and accept. The family may not always get there, but they will be forever changed. Your story may even inspire another generation to continue chipping away at the blunders of their elders.

And finally, Othila can invite you to create your own home and family. Surround yourself with loving friends, plant your roots somewhere new, and create a lasting legacy through your deeds and contributions. We should all be so blessed that at the end of our lives we can say with certainty that we contributed and we lived.